She is an imperious autocrat, a deceptively soft-spoken dogmatist, the self-proclaimed Oracle of All Things Breast Cancer to be worshipped accordingly — or else.

And she’s a liar besides.

I’m talking about Holly Anderson, Director of the Breast Cancer Coalition of Rochester [NY].

On October 16, 2022 at 9:01 a.m., Holly wrote to tell me inter alia that there are “two therapists who dismissed you from their practices.” How she arrived at this conclusion is beyond me, but I suppose it doesn’t matter. What matters is 1) who cares about her meaningless accusations, and 2) there are therapists (and advocates) who, unlike Ms. Anderson, do not allow their personal biases to interfere with the therapeutic process.

I found one of these therapists on April 10, 2023.

I told him what happened to me. . .and he listened. He did not blame me or shame me.

He did not “dismiss [me] from [his] practice” or judge me as “not ready” to be helped.

He did not demand that I “choose” to shut up. He did not promise that my life would magically improve once I did — and only if I did.

He did not offer excuses for the perp — you know, like “I find that doctors who make mistakes are remorseful,” or “he has treated other hundreds of patients,” the implication being that he has done so without (almost) killing them.

In fact, he thinks Ajay Dhakal’s conduct was dangerous and disgraceful.

He thinks I deserve better than that.

He wrote down his name so he could advise other women to avoid him.

He knows that some people graduate at the bottom of their class — and that includes both doctors and directors.

He does not demand, coerce, or intimidate. He encourages me to examine my fear, face my pain, and think from the wise mind.

He helps me work towards positive change.

He knows that my way may be different than his way — and that’s okay.

He puts “advocates” like Holly Anderson to shame.

Because he is a therapist, not a bully.

For the first time since Ajay Dhakal almost killed me, I have hope.

I’d forgotten how nice that feels.